Hello world!

Sighing. They say it can be a symptom …

but a symptom of what? A weary soul as someone once said? A sigh being “a language spoken by a languishing heart”. But as much as I repeat and repeat the art of sighing throughout each day and night, I believe it is more indicative of a soul somewhat at odds with the world. It is a battle sometimes, and to keep one’s chin up, sometimes requires a sigh. Other times the tension of expectation (more on this later) and discouragement creeps in, and, at the moment of recognition, it is released as a sigh. Then when the pattern I wish I could break or a disliked habit shows up…the sigh is my awareness and call to continue working on change.

“All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you” (Psalm 38:9).

Sighs are also inner longings, deep wishes let go into the atmosphere to lift on wings of hope to heaven to be heard by my God who is listening.

Then at other times, the sighs are a bow of satisfaction on the gift of hard trying, my mind wanting to accept a less-than-perfect job done. So I sigh and sigh, continuing to battle to keep strong, persevere, work on that habit and wish for better. This is partly the reason for a private blog that possibly no one will read but me. I don’t care. Maybe I even prefer it if no one out there sees. These sighs and their reasons just need to be untangled and unwound. Writing is my processing. I have thoughts. They aren’t educated or trained or wise thoughts. Just thoughts. Just mine. More like observations than advice or teachings~ I’m not smart enough for that and there are plenty of others filling the universe with that level of instruction.

So when someone asks, “Why the heavy sigh?”, I think of the openness of my sigh before the Lord who understands my heart pounding, hears my thoughts rambling and cares for my soul when it is heavy or confused or tired. It frees a little. It lightens a little. It cracks opens a window of space. I tell myself the sighing is a good thing.